The Moist eyes.....

Chapter 2:

(Please read the Chapter 1 "Melting drops of soul" before you go ahead)

Pranav had not called Anshika for the last 1 week from Oxford. She was waiting thinking he would be busy. Finally she called Pranav's mobile, but there was no response from the other end. The mobile kept ringing. She called several times, but there was no response from the other end.

She got restless and worried but had no option, as she knew no body else who could get in touch with him. Pranav was one of the persons whom she could trust and someone who cared for her. She had just gone through difficult times in the recent days, and needed a true friend who could not be anybody other than Pranav. But this moment even he was not there with her.

She started remembering the incident when she was just as upset as today and was not even talking to Pranav and he was trying to cheer her up by sending her stupid messages. Well, that was just before Pranav had left for Chennai... she started smiling thinking about that small incident. She thought about how she had gone with him for his shopping and how much Pranav was excited to have her with him for the entire Chennai shopping...

But, just then she recalled the scene of the football ground where Pranav had proposed her. She was so sad that day... She came home and was feeling a sense of loss.... she never wanted that day to come, as she always was scared that it would be the end of their relationship.... Pranav was her friend, and sometimes more than a friend, she cared for him as a true friend, that's why she was praying God that such a day would never come, which had finally come that day.
She had actually already sensed the love Pranav had for her when Pranav was leaving for Chennai... and was waving bye from the moving train... A drop of tear had fallen from her eyes, not because Pranav was leaving Chennai, but because she had sensed that Pranav was moving on a path which she can't accompany him further.

She loved the time she spent talking with him, the calls from Pranav were always a priority for her. Seeing him succeed was a true thrill for her... his success was as important to her as to him... But whenever she asked her what was Pranav to her, she got the answer "A true friend".
The fear was growing in her as she was sensing that Pranav's dependency on her was increasing after he had moved to Chennai... she was sensing in his talks that his emotions were moving in a direction that she wished them not to... she tried hinting him a couple of times, but thought it would not be good for her to talk then and she should wait for Pranav to come to Delhi on leave.... She was however not sure how to tell Pranav that she took him as a good friend and he was going the wrong way.... Finally Pranav proposed her before she could explain him anything....

The night he proposed her, she could not sleep and kept looking at the red rose that Pranav had given her and tried her best to convince herself that she loved Pranav; but she just could not.. she was helpless, she could not feel the same reciprocatory way for Pranav... He was a precious soul for her, and did not know how to tackle with this entangling situation . But she could not fake her love for him, as this would put him into a bigger pain than the one Pranav would be going through then.

She was confused and thought that may be some silence on her part will change Pranav, as he might need his time and space to accept the things as they are. She was hesitant to say anything that may lead Pranav to misinterpret her. So, gradually the free flowing friendship that she had started changing into a thoughtful resticted one. Before every action, she had to think twice, as Pranav's feelings were getting stronger and he was always insisting on her for the same thing that she did not feel. The helplessness she had in this aspect could not be understood by Pranav, who was in his own world of pursuit.

She did not want to be rude with Pranav, but when she finally saw Pranav not being able to accept the fact that she could not go ahead with him and he had started pursuing her relentlessly, she started feeling suffocated with the interactions. She had started to feel the loss of a friend, and could not help but had to start distancing him from her self. She used to get so many mails from Pranav on the same thing that had by now taken a toll over her.

By that time, she probably had no choice but to talk it out with Pranav, but in spite of all the conversations, she could not see a change in Pranav who was no more a comfortable friend to talk with due to obvious reasons.

Ultimately, from her end the only way was to keep silence, a hand of help from her end was not what Pranav needed anyways. And what he needed was a feeling which she could not feel. So among these emotions, she saw the death of a beautiful friendship which she could not save in spite of her efforts.

She thought it correct to stop responding to Pranav's mails and calls as this was the only way for Pranav to start looking at life without her. It was too painful for her to behave as a stone hearted person for Pranav, but she was helpless as he was relentless, and would fast grow exhausted and tired if he did not stop. She was feeling tired and helpless too.

Gradually she saw a decline in his mails and calls, as she started turning them down and one fine day they finally ended. It was also much painful for her to see the bias some of their common friends had about their relationship. Some started taking her to be the cause of Pranav's hurt and she became the culprit, but she did not say anything. She had nothing to say and what was there to be said anyways. When even the one whom she thought understood her the most, had gone from her life, she took things as they came.

Frictions developed between other friends and she was left lonely at some stages of life. Life was not kind to her, she had her own pains, but had not many souls to share with. But, she believed this was the way she had to live. She changed. She was no more a lively person that she once was. Life was seemingly rude to her. But, the inner strength made her cope with it, an she smiled at the troubles as they came her way.

She wished Pranav all the happiness in life and asked friends about his well being from time to time. She had no other option, and was hopeful that Pranav must be doing fine in his life.

Under all these tough times that life was showing her due to her family and some other reasons, one fine day she came across a guy named Alok. A charming and understanding person, to whom Anshika started getting close to. He cared for her and she could see in him what she had dreamt of, in a life partner. Alok also felt that his pursuit for love had eneded after he met Anshika. They understood each other to a great extent and Alok supported Anshika in her tough phases of life. He was there with her in her every struggle, and so was she.

Together things were growing stronger and stronger between them and a sense of completion was coming their way. They wanted to get married, or atleast Anshika did. But, somehow she was taken a back one day when suddenly she saw Alok not responding to her calls since morning.

She ran from the college to his hostel room and found him over there disturbed and smoking. She scolded him and asked why he was not picking her calls. Alok did not reply for a moment and after that stood up and said... "Anshika look... I don't know how you will take this, but the fact is that I can't marry you. You may need the reasons, I have them but they may not make any sense to you.... Because, they might sound selfish and actually they are..... I am not ready for this Anshika, I am not. ...Please leave me alone.... and forgive me if I have caused you any hurt, which of course I have. I have some aspirations in life, and this is not my time to go ahead with you. I don't want to go anything further, as its going to be harsher for you and difficult for both of us."

Anshika was frozen and still standing against the wall with her head looking at the roof all this while... The books she had in her hands had fallen on the floor... stream of tears rolled down her cheek as she shut her eyelids... she did not say a word to Alok, stepped out of his room, and ran without knowing where she was heading too.. she ran all the way in the sun from Alok's room to her hostel and finally while getting up the hostel stairs she fainted... fell down 15 steps... and fractured her shoulder.
When she regained consciousness she found herself in the hospital. Alok was standing beside her, feeling guilty of what he had said... She saw him and looked the other way and requested him to get out of the room, and that was the last time she wanted to see him. She needed none of his pity just because she was in the hospital due to him. She wanted Alok, but not the Alok whom she had seen a few hours before but the one she had loved. She was alone in her room and tears were bleeding down her cheek. Just then the face of Pranav came in front of her and she thought of the immense pain that he might have gone through.

She was going through a greater pain than what Pranav must have gone through all these years. Sitting in the hospital, she called Megha, their common friend and asked her for Pranav's number. She felt like to listen to his voice this moment. Megha told Anshika that Anshika may not be able to speak to Pranav as he was flying for London in just a few hours from then. He had recently got a Phd offer from Oxford..... Listening this, Anshika was so happy that she forgot her fracture pain for a moment. She from the hospital room called Pranav.

She hid her pain and showed her joy in spite of the severe ache in her shoulder. But, she felt nice talking to Pranav, who was equally elated speaking to Anshika. For the next 3 hours in the hospital she was oblivious of her pain and their old friendship was back. She felt at peace and spoke to Pranav till he sat in the plane and wished him luck... and said ... she will miss him... and then the pain in her shoulder caused a drop of tear to flow down her eyes, which Pranav could never see.

She did not tell anything about Alok or the fracture to Pranav. She wanted him to go smiling to his destination, and so was pretended to be full of joy. Pranav could obviously, not imagine all this that was happening at the other end of the phone as she never wanted Pranav to know about all that trauma she was going through.

Among all these thoughts of the past.. she suddenly came to the present when suddenly her healing fracture gave her an acute pain.... and she saw the mobile and waited for Pranav's call to know if he was all fine....

After losing her patience she called Megha, who knew to some extent about the ups and downs of Anshika's life. However, on knowing about the fact that Anshika had undergone such a trauma, Megha could not resist from telling about all that to Pranav. Pranav was shocked to know about how Anshika had faked her joy when she was in the hospital in immense pain and was talking to Pranav for 3 hours for the mere reason that Pranav should go smiling.

He also came to know about Alok from Megha, which he already knew from the mails, but now the clarity of incidents had cleared all the doubts he had for Anshika. He knew that he had to be with her and that is what mattered to him now.

There were no more jumbling of equations anymore and Pranav was no more impatient for Anshika. He had accepted her as a person whom he had loved, and may be still loved. But, more than that he knew that Anshika wanted a friend in him this moment. And may be this was what made the difference in their relationship.

Pranav was patient this time... they grew as a support for each other... two friends who ultimately complimented each other... in their laughs and in their crys...
He was back from Oxford after an year to continue his research in Delhi... and they met each other almost after 3 yrs now....

Anshika wanted them to meet in the same football ground where Pranav had proposed her.... and as they were sitting and watching the children playing football, Anshika, who was in the same white Salwaar Kameez today as that day, suddenly stood up and asked Pranav... "Hey Stupid... where is my rose".... and Pranav smiled and said... "Sorry... this time its a Pink one"... and took it out of the packet he was hiding and said..."The shop had no red roses".... And Anshika laughed snatching the rose from his hand...

She then pulled Pranav's hand and they walked holding each other towards ..... the sunset.... hoping for a new sunrise....

Melting drops of soul...

Chapter 1:

(This should be read first before reading Chapter 2 "The Moist Eyes")

Pranav just got out of the movie hall.... in the rush of the people coming out of the hall, no one noticed in the dark that there were tears in his eyes. For the last couple of days he was struggling with himself.... with the truth that life had shown him just a couple of days before. He wanted to be alone, always alone... may be sometimes the loneliest moments that he had, gave him the bliss he needed. He wrestled with the thoughts day and night, till either the thoughts died or till he felt asleep.

He wanted to cry, cry loud, with the scream that could be heard in each corner of the world... a scream that would wake every sleeping soul in the world... a scream... which shall tear him apart.... May be it was just in this hope that he had come to see this movie, so that in the dark, the shock that he had got some days ago will melt in tears... and it did... he was feeling better with the exodus of the tears.

The streets were all empty and he walked lonely on them ..... and with each step a drop of tear was flowing down his cheek, timing the footsteps as if giving a music. He unlocked the apartment and fell on his bed looking at the ceiling, the fan was moving slowly with a small tick sound.... the moving fan took him slowly to the moment when he saw her for the first time ..........................................


It was bus number 348 on which he was sitting on the 4th seat alone, away from the window. There came someone who said "excuse me" and he moved his leg out of the seat giving her way. He just saw a blue Salwaar Kameez rubbing against the seat and getting seated next to him.... He was conscious of the lovely perfume smell she had, he just tried to see her from the corner of his eyes... black blunt hair till her shoulder, and her eyelids just blinking from side... he quickly looked away, as she had noticed him staring at her. 5 minutes passed by, but Pranav could not hold his desire to look at the beauty sitting next to her, he made an effort and tried having a glance with a mild effort... she caught him this time and smiled at him. Pranav smiled too, embarrassed a bit about being caught. Said "Hi" and she too said... "Hi I am Anshika". He answered "Pranav.. Pranav Ganeshan". She was doing her PHd in the Delhi University just next to Pranav's office, where Pranav had just got a Job in a World renowned bank and it was just his first week at work.

Days moved ahead, they met each other by chance 2-3 times a week, and then Pranav started timing his exit from office in such a way that he could meet Anshika. He liked talking to her, and gradually it became a practice for her to sit with him, and if there was no seat, Pranav would stand next to the seat and give his seat to her. She used to smile and sit down and then they used to talk all the way till her stop came....
They became good friends, started meeting for coffee and sometimes even met with each others friends. Pranav liked Anshika's love for reading and they discussed for long about Ayn Rand's and Paulo Cohelo's creations. They became close and loved each others company.
Pranav was promoted and company wanted to send him to a critical project in Chennai. In the boss's room from no where he was shocked to feel the thought of Anshika coming to his mind when he thought of leaving Delhi.

He told Anshika about promotion, and she jumped with joy.... she called all their common friends before even Pranav could tell them and they had a warm farewell... The last week in Delhi was tough for Pranav with the only thought of missing Anshika. She came to see him off and as the train started Pranav looked into her moist beautiful eyes and said..."I will miss you".. just then a drop fell from her eyes and she smiled and said..."I too"... and the train left the station with them waving towards each other. Pranav stood there till he could see Anshika in her yellow suit getting farther and farther....

He reached Chennai and ran to the PCO booth and called Anshika and told her that he had reached... she said she was checking the phone each moment waiting for his call and Pranav did not know why he just could not say to her anything... he was just listening to her as if he was absorbing Anshika's each voice... He said.... Missing you and cut the phone... the voice reciprocated...
Pranav was doing extremely well ... getting the best accolades of the department and after each of them he used to call her and she was happier than what Pranav thought she would be...

Days became months and 4-5 months passed. They spent every night after the hectic day half an hour listening to each other. Pranav never wanted to keep the phone and Anshika used to force him to keep as it used to get late.
He used to sleep with a smile on his face every night after calling her and the day after day he was coming to the realization that he loved Anshika.... He was sure that Anshika was just waiting for him to say it...

He couldn’t wait for the day when he got a week’s leave and he took a flight to Delhi.... he reached the Airport and Anshika was as usual the first one to be called. They met the same evening.
She was wearing a white Salwaar Kameez and Pranav felt as if she looked much more beautiful than when he had left her in Delhi... They both loved to meet at the lovely big football ground in Munirka rather than any coffee house...
He had bought a red rose for her en-route and thought that today he would tell her what he thought Anshika was also waiting to hear.

As they were sitting and looking at the children playing football... Pranav took courage and held her hand which was between them... Anshika felt the touch for the first time and got a bit straightened and looked at Pranav. He took the rose out of the packet he was hiding it in and gave Anshika... and said... “Anshika.... I..... I......... love you...”... She smiled, took the Rose in her hand and looked at it.... kept mum... he was confused, he was expecting something in return .. may be a line of “Love You too..” or some thing like that. He was silent and so was Anshika, who was now looking at the children playing football and was purposely not looking at Pranav, who was looking at her for an answer.
She slowly turned and looked at Pranav and said... “Pranav, I knew this would happen someday... but I always wanted to tell you that this cant work.. Yes I like you.. but I mean.. we can’t have a future I guess... I mean I am not sure... You are a nice guy, but somehow Pranav please understand.. I hope you will”.

Pranav did not know how to react. His heart skipped a beat.. he sat still for a moment and looked at the football which changed legs from once child to another... He took a breath and said.. “Hey its Ok.. we are good friends too.... and anyways.. you said may be you are not sure... may be you can take your time”.... Anshika hesitantly smiled and they both got up and started walking and she said “Thanks for the rose !!”.

Pranav reached home and the week just passed by. He did not want to meet Anshika, somehow he did not have the courage to look into her eyes.. he did not know what to speak to her.. what to talk to her.. Paulo Cohelo and Ayn Rand topics looked too artificial to him to talk with her.
So, the day before he left, he called Anshika to say bye and said her that he would miss her in Chennai, but Anshika was silent with no.. “Miss you too ...”
He sensed something... not knowing what was it.. he kept the phone and time passed by.

He called her everyday as usual but now the talks did not have the taste as they had before and he saw Anshika telling him on some days that she was sleepy and on some days that she had an exam... so even when Pranav wanted to get the topic that he was dying to talk about he was hesitant. Anshika’s response was not what it used to be before they had met the last time. He did not want to accept the fact that things had changed.... He wanted the same Anshika who was crazy to talk to him.. he wanted her to scold him if he missed calling her.. he wanted her to call him when she finished reading a new book to tell him how much she loved it... he started to look for the Anshika who was no more there in those talks... the search exhausted him... he was tired of saying the one sided “Miss yous..” when the other side just gave a “Hmm...” in response...

He started getting impatient and restless, alone in his apartment... Office started getting tasteless for him... his only mission in life now seemed to be Anshika.... He could not understand why he was getting crazier about her day by day and had started sensing a repulsion from Anshika’s end... His mind could not conclude what had gone wrong and Anshika became a pursuit for him rather than a person whom he loved... He just wanted her badly now... he just wanted her to say the “Miss yous” that she always said before keeping the phone... He wanted to hear the “Love You” that he was suffering to hear from...

Things had changed... he was coming to the reality gradually..... the love was no more there... he went twice to Delhi on leave in the year that just passed by, they even met but, he felt the hours with Anshika even difficult to spend than what it would be with a stranger.... On asking about their future, she just said that she did not think it was possible..

The relation lost its charm... the daily calls got shortened... and gradually moved to weekly and very soon vanished.... He was broken ... shattered.... alone in Chennai... lonely... dealing with his thoughts and fighting against each of them reminding him of her laugh... her eyes....

He suffered, but work kept him involved.. joined Yoga... time and distance too helped him to get out of it... made new friends at Chennai... and he started smiling again... happy once again with what life had for him... Anshika had turned into just a thought for him... though he loved her still and he hoped she knew it too.... he was not sure how she was and what her life was like. He did not want to keep any touch because he felt that he was no more needed in her life... He was not a person whom she wanted anymore in her life... The unanswered mails and calls had already hinted him this when he had realized that.

He was happy now... Present was looking fresh to him... once again he was excelling at work and was the Accolade man again... Yes.. he did not have Anshika to jump on his news anymore... but it was fine for him.. he did not miss her so much .. and was a winner again.

His ambition had taken him away from the past and he finally was moving to the Oxford in London for doing his Phd in Finance. He was busy shopping for the exciting career that was coming his way... The day finally came.... he had his flight at 8:00 PM so reached the Airport at 4:00.. He was at the immigration counter when his cell rang.... There was noise around him so he kept a hand on his one ear and said Hello... the other side said... “Hi Pranav” .. his heart skipped a beat... This was the voice that was not being heard by his ears but by his soul... This was the voice he could recognize even with thousand decibels of noise around him.... He took a deep breath and said.. “Hi Anshika.. How are you”... She said... “Hey going to London and didn’t even tell me”.. Pranav smiled and said... “Oh am sorry”.. he did not know what to speak to her ... was not sure whether he even wanted to talk to her... but Anshika was full of joy, as if they had just talked the day before and the two years were actually just two hours....

Pranav was like a cube of Sugar... he dissolved in Anshika’s sweet voice and forgot all that had gone through in the past.. All the suffering, all that agony that once had come his way were too small at this moment... He was talking to the same Anshika whom he had made himself to forget... and had succeeded too...

The rest 3 Hours in the Airport, Anshika talked to him till he sat in the flight... Pranav’s joy knew no bound.... He felt this as his happiest moment in life... he was on the Window seat and as the flight took off he could see Anshika in the clouds, in her white Salwaar Kameez waving bye at him.. The “Will Miss you” that Anshika had said just moments ago was still echoing in his ears....

With these thoughts he closed his eyes and suddenly he felt an urge to listen to the thought that was trying to pop up in his mind for the last 4-5 hours... He did not want to think about this question.... He was scared what the answer could be... he did not want to know the truth as he felt it could be bitter.... The question was.. “Why did Anshika come back..”
But the answers came popping in his mind.... “Did she come seeing my success...”... “ No she can’t be that mean...”... “After 2 Years did she miss me..or has she just come as a friend” ... “Did something in her life suddenly made her realize what I meant to her..”
He did not want to face these answers... he was happy.... and Anshika was back... he did not know as what.. but she was there with him today.. in the clouds .. in his mind... in him.. she was back...

He reached London Airport and immediately called her that he had reached safely... she was happy... and so was he...
He started calling her from London... and Anshika also got up even when half asleep, but talked to him... she again started sharing with him which book she read .. she again said .. “Miss yous..” when he called...

Pranav did not have the courage of asking Anshika ... why did she come back... he did not want to loose her again... he did not even want to know whether she loved him now... he just did not want to say anything that could mean Anshika leaving him again... But for him he was already in love with her again.. she was her each second once again...

She was same ... and so was he... they talked often now... and the joys were back...

One night while Pranav was just reading Anshika’s old mails... he came across the mail that she had written to him 3 Yrs before and had shared with him her mail-id and password so that he could see her score of PHd when she would be in her home town.

Pranav hesitantly opened the mail site and entered the mail id anshikao2@gmailTech.com and password Indo123 and there opened her mailbox... with so many mails. He hesitantly scrolled through the mail and found that most of the mails were from an email-id Alok.... he felt anxious and could not stop him from opening one of the mails... He saw the mail ending with... Love you... and then in the sent items saw Anshika’s mail box full of mails to Alok... he was surprised and started reading them at random.... as he read them he just could not stop and read each of them one by one....

One of them read... “Alok ... look how cute... Anshika Weds Alok looks ....”. the other had.... “Hey Alok... do you know how much I love you....”.... as he kept reading each of them he reached a point where he saw a mail from Alok in which he is trying to tell Anshika how difficult it is for him to get married to her and that it is better that they should end the relationship here.... The unpleasant messages between them had started about two months back according to the e-mail date.... the last one was just 2 days back.... but he could not conclude anything from the recent mails...

He did not realize that he was shivering for the last 1 hour since the time he started reading them .. he did not know what to do.... he was restless... he wanted to cry... wanted to scream.... did not know what to do... He was shocked.... a state of emotionlessness had enveloped him.... he laughed .. laughed and laughed... like a mad... he looked into the mirror... he was still trembling... looked at his image and kept laughing... and then slowly fainted on the floor in the loneliness of the flat..

He was lying there still for 5 hours and his eyes opened when the birds chirped with the break of the day... as he walked to his room he saw the laptop still open with Anshika’s mail box open in front of him...
He stared at the word "Alok"... he could no more run from the truth that he had never ever imagined... Anshika Loved some one else... In the years when he was living each second trying to wrestle with his thoughts in order to forget her, she was dreaming of life with someone else... She had never said.. “Pranav I love you..” but all her mails were full of “Alok .. Anshika loves you the most..”.. He wished the ground would crack and absorb him in.. he could not look into the mirror as he felt he can not even face the self...
He shut the laptop and had a shower.... still wondering... why was Anshika Back... or was she back at all....

He did not know what was it with Alok and Anshika now, but he felt terrible and wanted the shower to wash away each inch of Anshika in him... he wanted to wash away this name from his life... from his soul... the name that he had worshipped.... He asked himself if he was just a back up.. a substitute for Alok... if at all that was the reason why Anshika came back....

He asked himself under the shower... does he still want her heart which had loved or still loves someone else.... will he be able to kiss the lips which have kissed someone else... will he be able to accept her the way she is... he just wanted to stop thinking.... He wanted to hold each stream and drop of the flowing water on his body and rub it against his soul....

He wanted to cry.... cry like a baby...



....................................And all this thought got Pranav to the present as he was lying on his bed under the ceiling fan and the tears flowing out of the corner of his eyes.

Just then he heard his mobile ringing.... as he picked it and saw.... a drop of tear fell on the mobile's screen which showed... "Anshika Calling".......